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The past two Mining Mondays I’ve been focusing on the non-apparel aspects of thrift shopping. This time clothes get their due.

I feel weird mining the clothing because it’s a pretty sensitive area. Mocking ceramic robins and paint-by-number landscapes is one thing. However, not everyone wears secondhand clothes because they want to but because they have to, and they may not be particularly proud of this. So I tried to keep my sensitivity in check as I perused. Really, I did.

I’m annoyed just looking at this and the person isn’t even wearing it.

You wear this sweater to sit around and watch Happy Gilmore, right?

This one just screams “FIESTA!” Or middle-aged Spanish teacher.

Let’s get a close up on that tag, shall we?

I know clothing is considered a ‘dry good’, but in my food-serving past, it was pasta, cereal or any other non-perishable food item. Still seems odd to me.

“Hope is a thing with feathers,” Emily Dickinson said. And it can be found at your local Goodwill for $2.99.

OMG library shirt!

Wanted it real bad but since I just gave away a bunch of shirts, I wasn’t looking to gain new ones. Sigh.

Just pretend you hear me sing the theme song: Library TRAAANSFORMERS. Librarians. In. Disguiiise.

Need a last minute Halloween costume?

1)  Santa = not sexy. At all. Ever. Gross. Plus, wouldn’t this be sexy Mrs. Claus? Which is also not sexy. At all. Ever. Gross.
2)  “Greek sex goddess”? Does no one remember her name is Aphrodite? Really, people. That frat guy is going to be SO PISSED when he realized you swiped his toga and threw a tablecloth over it.

And finally, since the bedpan from last week was such a crowd pleaser, here’s additional proof there are more toilets in this country than people know what to do with:

I can just see the conversation now:

Person One:  Man, I’m so bummed grandpa’s dead.
Person Two:  Me too. But what do we do with his toilet?!
Person One:  Well, I don’t want it, do you?
Person Two:  No, but I’d hate to throw it away, it’s perfectly good!
Person One:  I know! We’ll donate it to Goodwill and use it as a TAX WRITE-OFF.
Person Two:  OMG YOU’RE SO SMART.

Persons One and Two of the world, take note:  If you don’t want your grandpa’s used toilet, then believe me, NO ONE wants your grandpa’s used toilet.

Just a tip, is all.