Possible ways my cat spends his time when I'm not home

• Clipping his own toenails.
• Signing me up for catalogs, magazines and mailing lists.
• Skypeing with his friend and former roommate ("Mousie, I wish you were here so we could watch Pretty Little Liars together." "I know, Harold. Steal a bit of cheese off her plate for me.")
  
• Trying on scarves, practicing his French accent, blowing kisses into the mirror.
  
• Sampling the tea stash (we're low on raspberry... again).
• Meowing into fans so it comes out sounding like meeeeeoooooooooowowowowowowowow.
• Rearranging important yet mundane items (scissors, tape, flashlight, batteries), so they can never be found in emergencies.
  
• Playing hide and seek with himself.
  
• Staring into the sunset, thinking about the futility of life and how lucky he is to never get a sunburn.

Currently, all evidence suggests that he spends his days sleeping, but I'm not entirely convinced. Someone put me on the AARP list and he looks far too amused when the flyers show up in the mail.

Comments

[Tessa]

our cats should probably get together. mine enjoy rearranging every single thing on every single table in every single room, unplugging as many appliances as possible so that we are fooled into thinking things are broken upon our return, chatting about guests we bring over and plotting on how to torture them when they return, and board games.

[Andrea]

Hah, I can practically hear Harold mewing, "You kids get out of my liter box!"