How an Andrea spends her Thursdays

Thursday is usually my only free night of the week. It's my chance do the things that need to be done around my apartment that I've been putting off the other days of the week. So, how do I spend my time?

A) Maintaining my truce with the dust bunnies who really own this joint.

B) Eating, making, or thinking about soup.

C) Rearranging piles of overdue library books to make myself feel smarter.

D) Singing "Save the People" from Godspell to my cat, but replacing the word God with cat and people with kitties ("When wilt thou save the kitties? Oh, cat of mercy, whennn? The kitties, cat, the kitties! Not thrones and crowns, but kitttttttiiiieeeesssssss.")

E) Not wearing pants.

F) Telling myself that I'll write something great but playing Words With Friends and liking other people's photos on Instagram instead.

G) All of the above.

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The correct answer is H) All of the above and then passing out to an old episode of Gilmore Girls.

If that answer surprises you, well, we must not really be friends.

Possible ways my cat spends his time when I'm not home

• Clipping his own toenails.
• Signing me up for catalogs, magazines and mailing lists.
• Skypeing with his friend and former roommate ("Mousie, I wish you were here so we could watch Pretty Little Liars together." "I know, Harold. Steal a bit of cheese off her plate for me.")
  
• Trying on scarves, practicing his French accent, blowing kisses into the mirror.
  
• Sampling the tea stash (we're low on raspberry... again).
• Meowing into fans so it comes out sounding like meeeeeoooooooooowowowowowowowow.
• Rearranging important yet mundane items (scissors, tape, flashlight, batteries), so they can never be found in emergencies.
  
• Playing hide and seek with himself.
  
• Staring into the sunset, thinking about the futility of life and how lucky he is to never get a sunburn.

Currently, all evidence suggests that he spends his days sleeping, but I'm not entirely convinced. Someone put me on the AARP list and he looks far too amused when the flyers show up in the mail.